Bathing Our Cat

Natasha is our very fluffy, very opinionated, mostly super sweet long hair domestic cat. She's 11 years old and knows EXACTLY what she likes and doesn't like. Her list of likes is much shorter than the dislikes, but she's a cat so that's pretty much expected.

Natasha likes:
Food
Belly rubs (a set amount..the number changes daily so watch out)
Food
Snuggling with your hip at night (only at night)
Food
Chewing on plastic bags
Food
Taking naps
Looking glorious

Natasha painstakingly grooms herself all the time. She looks like a fluffy princess 90% of the day, with the exception of when she wakes up from a nap looking like she went through a wind storm. She also hates it when you call her scraggly. She's a proud woman of color and doesn't like her imperfections being pointed out. I guess when you're 65 years old in cat years you can loudly state your opinion on whatever you want.

That being said, Natasha was not originally adopted by Will and me. She came to us via Will's aunt, then Will's mother. She was never abused, but she is a one family kind of cat and got super sad at being moved from one house to another. Will's mom had 2 dogs, one of which Natasha would always snuggle with and nap on, and 2 other cats as well. One cat weighs about as much as a horse and obviously he's pretty complacent and doesn't care about much, but food. They got along just fine. Sam on the other hand was a complete @$$ hat. He would bully her and she would spend all her days underneath one bed in one room. Not exactly the life of luxury cats deserve/are entitled to.

We adopted her into our pet free home.. which now has 1 other cat and the best puppy ever, but that's a different story. Long story short, she's been extremely happy ever since. That was only the beginning...

A few weeks ago we noticed she wasn't feeling well. As a result, she didn't really bathe herself for about 3 days. After checking with the vet we decided it was time to give her a bath. If you regularly bathe yourself about 3 times a day to 0 times in 3 days...well you have one greasy looking kitty.

Will and I had both seen horror clips from youtube videos of other suckers bathing their cats who then turned into raging monster ball of fluff, teeth, and nails. We knew she did okay when we clipped her nails, but she has a pretty mean growl that we didn't want her to actually act upon.

This is pretty much how it went:

W&E: Nataaaasha! Where are you pretty lady? We've got treats!
N: No response
W&E:  *shakes treat bag*
N: No response
W&E: Dang it! I think she's under the bed. You grab her. No you do it.

Will eventually caved and grabbed her from the bed. The yelling that could only possibly have said "you hate me. why do you hate me. what did I ever do to you. Please don't take me to my death" started shortly after that.

We took her into the bathroom, locked the overly curious dog out, and made sure she couldn't get out. We then, being the awesome pet parents we are, ran her a luxurious, warm bath just for her. Did she appreciate it? No.

When we take her to the vet in her crate we usually have to trick her or chase her down and do some pretty impressive acrobatics in order to grab her and not get scratched and then actually get her in the cage when she has all 4 paws outside the opening and is pushing with all her furry might. We thought this was exactly how the bath would go.

She went fully in the opposite direction. Natasha went full deer in the headlights and stood absolutely still. I'm pretty sure she thought we couldn't see her if she stood still. We always make fun of how much she eats since she is constantly screaming for more food even though her bowl is full. We didn't realize just how big her gut was until we washed her.

Cats are super pitiful looking when you get them wet no matter what, especially when they are really fluffy to begin with. Natasha has extremely skinny limbs, tail and face. Her tummy....not so skinny. It looks like a very skinny cat swallowed a softball.

During her bath she made weird chirping noises that sounded like Beeker from the Muppets.. we were expecting incessant screams of protest and grumpiness like we get on the way to the vet, but we were pleasantly surprised. She did really really well. After the bath was over we dried her off and pampered her to her delight and even gave her treats.

Just remember, bathing your cat might not be the safest idea you've ever had, but your cats might decide to just sit there and be nice...for once. Or it's a tactic to lull you into a false sense of security so they can further their plans of world domination. Either one.