My First Ever Cruise... And Quarantine!

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."--Marilyn Monroe

Most of you are probably assuming from the title that I had just about the worst cruise ever. Having nothing to judge it against, I'm going to say it could have been worse, but I certainly could have done without the norovirus experience. I'm getting ahead of myself; let's start at the beginning.

My friend Nick proposed the idea of going on a cruise with his brother, Will, who happened to be my ex boyfriend (don't worry it wasn't freakishly awkward, we're friends). We decided last minute to go to Jamaica and Haiti on Royal Caribbean Cruise lines. Simple enough right? No. We needed a 4th person so we could split room costs. Got one guy, but turns out he didn't have a passport. I got my friend Dan who took the SCUBA dive master class with me to come along. You might be thinking YAY you got the 4th person! Nope. Will backed out for no reason.  Us being stubborn decided to go on the cruise anyway and enjoy a much needed vacation for them and for me it was something equivalent to satiating my need for adventure and travel.

Nick lives in Georgia and both Dan and I live in Virginia. We made the 9 hour drive down to Georgia the day before the cruise and it was surprisingly eventful. It started raining so we thought it would be a good idea to where snorkel gear while driving down the road... just in case. If you have to ask why you might want to stop reading because nothing I do ever really makes sense.

Dan and I also spruced up our car dancing skills and enjoyed singing at the top of our lungs. It really makes long drives more interesting for everyone. I can't tell you how many people have driven past me when I am full on performing a broadway show/concert in my car and given looks of pure confusion and wonderment. Give it a try!

We got to the cruise ship the next day, which was MASSIVE. I've never seen on up close and it was pretty much a floating city equipping with 2 theatres, piano bar, nightclub, gym, pools, climbing wall, surfing area, and helicopter landing pad to name a few. Dan and Nick received a free room upgrade meaning they got a window... me? I got a mirror shaped like a porthole. No big deal because I had somehow magically morphed into a woman named Ruth. Apparently someone else was supposed to have my room before we bought them for the week. The housekeeping and crew of the boat still thought I was this Ruth woman. I went with it because I kept receiving free things like chocolate covered strawberries, and free teeth whitening consultations and money credits to our cruise cards. I guess that's the trade off of not getting a window.

Our first night was spent wandering around and seeing various shows and performances all around the boat. And drinking. Lots of drinking.

 I also tried my hand at gambling. Turns out slot machines are a lot more complicated than I previously anticipated... Of the whopping $2 I spent here is my return...

 The next day was spent entirely out to see so we spent it laying out in the sun. I desperately needed a tan after spending a year in England. I was practically an honorary albino. We spent the day migrating between pool chairs, hot tubs, and the various activities that involved being outside. I am now proudly a shade darker and was not a lobster!. That night was formal dress night so we all got snazzed up for our 3 course meal. These chefs were top notch. I have never had better food in my life, which was unfortunate that I got sick and was restricted to toast for the rest of the trip after that night.

That night we saw the Cirque du Soleil show In The Air. As always it was AMAZING. I can't even form sentences describing how fantastic I think any and all of the Cirque du Soleil shows are so... just go see one. You won't be disappointed. Your mind might be dazed for a few days, but it's a good thing.

The third day we pulled in to Falmouth Jamaica. We pretty much ran off the boat and then got in a minibus that was going to take us to our planned day of snorkeling and climbing waterfalls. Jamaica really looks like a run down third world country. It has its moments, but for the most part it is really apparent that the residents have almost nothing. The landscape even reflected that too, which was slightly disappointing as I had higher hopes for Jamaica. All 3 of us got on the boat for our snorkeling trip and were immediately confused. Dan and I are certified to teach snorkeling and we have never been told to wear a life jacket in this way before...

We knew it was so people would be kept flat on their stomachs to minimize people touching the coral... but it was still an odd way to do that. Jamaica doesn't have much to see when it comes to snorkeling, but it was still a really fun experience. The views once we got back on the boat were more impressive in my opinion. There was a storm that was coming over the mountains and the seas were ridiculously green and blue so it made a really beautiful contrast. 

Once everyone was back on board aka me, Nick and Dan since we refused to come back in early and wanted as much time in the water as possible,  we sailed to Dunn's River Falls. We got in a large group and made our way up a surprisingly difficult climb up a series of waterfalls. I kicked about every rock and also found every hidden hole thereby plunging myself into very cold water. Everyone was SOAKED by the end of it without a change of clothes. SO of course we went to lunch and enjoyed jerk chicken and an odd beef stew that still had all of the bones left in it. I gave up after I started identifying each individual bone and freaked myself out a little bit. I guess that's the downside of being a bone analyst...

Here are some pictures of the falls and the place where we had lunch!

That night the illness from the depths of hell struck. I had just finished eating the best chicken marsala of my life and had just begun the chocolate dessert. The first warning sign was that I didn't want the chocolate... I excused myself from dinner and went back to my room where I began to expel the entire contents of my stomach and intestines and all of the liquids left over in my body for the entire night. That's about as non-graphic as I could make that. 

The next day was the Haiti port call. Needless to say I felt like %@#&. However, me being me, I dragged myself off of the ship knowing I would regret sitting inside my little box of a room all day. Lucky me the walk to the kayak excursion was about a half mile... I managed to get there and finally found the boys. I tried to hide how gross I felt, but it didn't work too well. I was a trooper and made it through out kayak trip! It actually made me feel better to do some exercise and be out on the water. I guess that has to do with me being part fish. I was also slightly angry. Of course it would be my luck to be healthy in the country I didn't like as much and sick as a dog in Haiti which was absolutely gorgeous and that had plenty of places to explore and places to romp around. What did I do instead? I was curled up on a beach chair wrapped in a towel since it was slightly cold outside. 

The view from my beach chair of doom. Not too shabby.

After kayaking I immediately dragged myself to the doctor on board the boat and was diagnosed with norovirus and was stuck in my room for the rest of the trip. I did sneak out and lay by the pool on the last day out to sea and spent the entire day in a hot tub meeting new people who I ended up running around the boat with doing random shenanigans. Apparently that sent me over the edge and I was sick all the next day. Driving back to VA was a good distraction and I felt much better. However the good feeling was limited after losing 10lbs in 2 days and being limited to toast if I was hungry, which wasn't very often. Good news is that I am completely cured!

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." --Oscar Wilde

Pubs, Football, Cliffs! Oh My!

I've done it again! I went to Ireland. However, one thing is different. I went with my best friends and saw some really cool things I never got a chance to see. What's not to like? Well... it wouldn't be a vacation with me if weird things didn't happen. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for one heck of an interesting trip play by play. Don't worry I won't sit you down and show you a slideshow of all 659 pictures. Phew!

Day 1 & 2: A Journey of Epic Proportions

Many of you may not realize just how complicated it can be to get from London to a hostel in Dublin. Here's what we did and what you shouldn't do since it's overly complicated (but totally fun)

1. Underground from flat to Euston train station. For the non-Londoners that means a LOT of stairs with suitcases.
2. Train to Holyhead, Wales (3 hours of sitting fun... separated from everyone else since we didn't get seats together). It also meant I passed out for most of it.
3. Bus to ferry lobby
4. Stairs to another bus which took us to the ferry. Redundant much?
5. Ferry that made Laura and I sick. BUT... drum roll please.... I saw a SHARK. Yes I freaked out more than I should have, but hey I was excited and it turns out extreme excitement can momentarily cure seasickness.
6. Shuttle to terminal and a taxi ride to hostel where the taxi driver got lost in the city he grew up in.

Oddly enough we were tired by the end of that. (sarcasm for those who didn't pick up on it)

However being the true English ex patriots were are we decided to go see the sites and go out drinking. We made the fantastic choice to follow the music. We ended up in a tiny 2 story pub that had live music every night. We heard one of the best folk blues bands I have ever heard. Those guys can play some guitar.

We even got to meet one of them!

The next day we spent exploring Dublin. Everyone else went to the Guinness Storehouse and had a blast. I spent the day attempting to find some sort of museum/attraction that was open. Absolutely nothing was. I spent the day walking around Dublin in a futile search. Needless to say it was not the best first half of the day.

That night consisted of transport to Galway which was much easier than the trek I described earlier. We got in the football spirit and went in search of a pub that was playing the Ireland Euro cup game. We joined in yelling at the tvs and the Irish spent the rest of the night drinking until they had no more feelings or memory of the sad loss. We had an early night because the next day was nothing short of EPIC.

Next stop: the Cliffs of Moher!!!         Stay tuned for the next blog update in 2-3 days! This will most likely be a series of 3 parts.

St. Patty's Day Adventures in Ireland 2012 Part 2

"St. Patrick is one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish." -Charles M. Madigan

Face paint and clothed in all green?

 Check!

Waking up at the crack of dawn to get ready and head to Dublin to see a parage?   Check!

Miraculously finding a spot where 2 short girls could actually see the parade?    Check!

One RIDICULOUSLY tall asian defying all stereotypes who stood up at the last second as the parade started?   Check :(

Our reactions?   

We got to see the tops of the floats... we later watched the mind blowingly creative parade highlights on tv at a local pub in Balbriggin.... better than nothing I guess!

We left the parade early and discovered that 11am is a good time to start drinking. We found a pub that was PACKED with nothing but German and French guys. Kelsey and I were approached by 2 of them and we started doing weird dances. I got picked up and flipped! It was sooooo much fun. Kelsey wasn't as lucky. He tried to do the same to her but ended up dropping her. It was absolutely priceless. The whole pub busted out laughing. These boys were also obsessed with our face paint since the Irish don't go all out like Americans do. They rubbed their faces on our cheeks to get paint on them. Such as weird experience.

That day we visited Dublin castle where I cut myself on the date and was entirely unimpressed with the interior which was almost all modern. No wonder it only cost 3 euros. Trinity college was much more impressive. The library would take your breath away! There were thousands of books that were hundreds of years old packed everywhere you looked. It was definitely worth a visit. I want a library like that! We spent the rest of the day and night celebrating in the Irish fashion... I'll let your imaginations take you where it will with that.

 Yes. That is a huge pint full of whiskey with a hint of coke. Great night :)