Most of you are probably assuming from the title that I had just about the worst cruise ever. Having nothing to judge it against, I'm going to say it could have been worse, but I certainly could have done without the norovirus experience. I'm getting ahead of myself; let's start at the beginning.
My friend Nick proposed the idea of going on a cruise with his brother, Will, who happened to be my ex boyfriend (don't worry it wasn't freakishly awkward, we're friends). We decided last minute to go to Jamaica and Haiti on Royal Caribbean Cruise lines. Simple enough right? No. We needed a 4th person so we could split room costs. Got one guy, but turns out he didn't have a passport. I got my friend Dan who took the SCUBA dive master class with me to come along. You might be thinking YAY you got the 4th person! Nope. Will backed out for no reason. Us being stubborn decided to go on the cruise anyway and enjoy a much needed vacation for them and for me it was something equivalent to satiating my need for adventure and travel.
Nick lives in Georgia and both Dan and I live in Virginia. We made the 9 hour drive down to Georgia the day before the cruise and it was surprisingly eventful. It started raining so we thought it would be a good idea to where snorkel gear while driving down the road... just in case. If you have to ask why you might want to stop reading because nothing I do ever really makes sense.
We got to the cruise ship the next day, which was MASSIVE. I've never seen on up close and it was pretty much a floating city equipping with 2 theatres, piano bar, nightclub, gym, pools, climbing wall, surfing area, and helicopter landing pad to name a few. Dan and Nick received a free room upgrade meaning they got a window... me? I got a mirror shaped like a porthole. No big deal because I had somehow magically morphed into a woman named Ruth. Apparently someone else was supposed to have my room before we bought them for the week. The housekeeping and crew of the boat still thought I was this Ruth woman. I went with it because I kept receiving free things like chocolate covered strawberries, and free teeth whitening consultations and money credits to our cruise cards. I guess that's the trade off of not getting a window.
Our first night was spent wandering around and seeing various shows and performances all around the boat. And drinking. Lots of drinking.
The next day was spent entirely out to see so we spent it laying out in the sun. I desperately needed a tan after spending a year in England. I was practically an honorary albino. We spent the day migrating between pool chairs, hot tubs, and the various activities that involved being outside. I am now proudly a shade darker and was not a lobster!. That night was formal dress night so we all got snazzed up for our 3 course meal. These chefs were top notch. I have never had better food in my life, which was unfortunate that I got sick and was restricted to toast for the rest of the trip after that night.
The third day we pulled in to Falmouth Jamaica. We pretty much ran off the boat and then got in a minibus that was going to take us to our planned day of snorkeling and climbing waterfalls. Jamaica really looks like a run down third world country. It has its moments, but for the most part it is really apparent that the residents have almost nothing. The landscape even reflected that too, which was slightly disappointing as I had higher hopes for Jamaica. All 3 of us got on the boat for our snorkeling trip and were immediately confused. Dan and I are certified to teach snorkeling and we have never been told to wear a life jacket in this way before...
We knew it was so people would be kept flat on their stomachs to minimize people touching the coral... but it was still an odd way to do that. Jamaica doesn't have much to see when it comes to snorkeling, but it was still a really fun experience. The views once we got back on the boat were more impressive in my opinion. There was a storm that was coming over the mountains and the seas were ridiculously green and blue so it made a really beautiful contrast.
Once everyone was back on board aka me, Nick and Dan since we refused to come back in early and wanted as much time in the water as possible, we sailed to Dunn's River Falls. We got in a large group and made our way up a surprisingly difficult climb up a series of waterfalls. I kicked about every rock and also found every hidden hole thereby plunging myself into very cold water. Everyone was SOAKED by the end of it without a change of clothes. SO of course we went to lunch and enjoyed jerk chicken and an odd beef stew that still had all of the bones left in it. I gave up after I started identifying each individual bone and freaked myself out a little bit. I guess that's the downside of being a bone analyst...
Here are some pictures of the falls and the place where we had lunch!
That night the illness from the depths of hell struck. I had just finished eating the best chicken marsala of my life and had just begun the chocolate dessert. The first warning sign was that I didn't want the chocolate... I excused myself from dinner and went back to my room where I began to expel the entire contents of my stomach and intestines and all of the liquids left over in my body for the entire night. That's about as non-graphic as I could make that.
The next day was the Haiti port call. Needless to say I felt like %@#&. However, me being me, I dragged myself off of the ship knowing I would regret sitting inside my little box of a room all day. Lucky me the walk to the kayak excursion was about a half mile... I managed to get there and finally found the boys. I tried to hide how gross I felt, but it didn't work too well. I was a trooper and made it through out kayak trip! It actually made me feel better to do some exercise and be out on the water. I guess that has to do with me being part fish. I was also slightly angry. Of course it would be my luck to be healthy in the country I didn't like as much and sick as a dog in Haiti which was absolutely gorgeous and that had plenty of places to explore and places to romp around. What did I do instead? I was curled up on a beach chair wrapped in a towel since it was slightly cold outside.
The view from my beach chair of doom. Not too shabby.
After kayaking I immediately dragged myself to the doctor on board the boat and was diagnosed with norovirus and was stuck in my room for the rest of the trip. I did sneak out and lay by the pool on the last day out to sea and spent the entire day in a hot tub meeting new people who I ended up running around the boat with doing random shenanigans. Apparently that sent me over the edge and I was sick all the next day. Driving back to VA was a good distraction and I felt much better. However the good feeling was limited after losing 10lbs in 2 days and being limited to toast if I was hungry, which wasn't very often. Good news is that I am completely cured!
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." --Oscar Wilde
No comments:
Post a Comment