Psychological Zombie Warfare

"Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools"--Napoleon Bonaparte

Lately I have been so obsessed with  AMC's The Walking Dead that I watched the entire 2 seasons in about 4 days. Yes that may seem pathetic, but only to those who haven't seen the glory that is that show, which is more pathetic in my opinion.

(I do not own this picture)

Don't let that beauty fool you. She just wants to eat you.

The show does have some side effects:

1. Drunk people walking down the street look like zombies
2. You want to buy an arsenal of guns, machetes, and other zombie killing materials
3. I want to zombie-proof my flat aka restructure it to be all metal and be able to completely seal itself in a matter of seconds. Also it needs to be solar powered and have tunnels to various secure areas. A garden of veggies is also a must. A girl has to eat!
4. I also have vivid nightmares about getting chased by zombies
5. People coming up behind me and breathing creepily put themselves in mortal peril. For example, I was in cafe nero after watching the massacre of the season finale. An old man with a head cold walked up behind me way closer than he probably should've, but he's old he can do what he wants, and breathed JUST LIKE A ZOMBIE IN MY EAR. There was a split second where this dialogue happened:

"S*&% there's a zombie right behind me that's going to eat me... Wait why is no one else running from the zombie... Oh yeah because I'm mental and they don't exist.. yet."

I turned around slowly with this look on my face:

That's my "you almost died for doing that in my ear you fake zombie."

Some of you may think I'm paranoid, but watch the show and then look around and see just how many people walk like zombies, especially when you're walking alone at night. It's unsettling. I've decided when the zombie apocalypse occurs I will be the most badass zombie killer in the land. Pure fact.
One thing is for sure: I will not be the whiny one running around screaming getting everyone else killed. It's just not my style.

All I know is I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. There have even been scientific studies showing that there are some diseases out there that could possibly mutate and have zombie like effects. When that happens whoever owns the house in the picture below is well prepared.

http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -- Albert Einstien

Ignorance is NOT Bliss

"Education is important because, first of all, people need to know that discrimination still exists. It is still real in the workplace, and we should not take that for granted."--Alexis Herman

Recently NC passed amendment one. Even from all the way in England people were outraged. Discrimination is a worldwide issue and I found myself having discussions over "equal" rights for all no matter what sexual orientation they had chosen. I'm going to step on my soap box. I'm just one voice, but it seems like people are reading my blog from all over the world so maybe I can make a small difference by just expressing my opinion.  With that said, I'm not pushing my opinion upon anyone just merely stating what I think is right and wrong. Feel free to debate with me in a mature manner.

I want to start out by saying that love is love. Love is hard to find, especially one that is true and loyal. How is that right to ban someone who loves another from getting married? The sanctity of marriage has been used and abused by celebrities, royalty, and government officials for centuries. Whether they are gay, bi, or lesbian these people are not flaunting their love in the public's face more than a straight person. It honestly disturbs me that people today can still be so discriminatory over something like marriage. This is our generation's version of discrimination against African Americans. I just hope one day we can look back from a time where the gay community has the same rights that I enjoy, such as the simple and meaningful act of marriage.

The following picture, that I do not own, sums up my thoughts quite nicely with a lovely use of sarcasm.

I grew up in a household that taught me to respect every person I met. Our country's supposed values teach us to treat people equally. There is separation of Church and State for a reason and I feel this amendment is in violation of this. After living for 4 years in North Carolina I wish I still lived there so I could have voted against. After seeing a map of the United States depicting which states allowed gay marriage I was appalled. It's legal to marry someone you're related to, yet someone you love you can't marry because they are of the same sex. I find this to be extremely backwards.

I also grew up with a strong influence from the theatre industry. I majored in theatre in college also. Yes it is stereotypical, but I met a number of gay, lesbian and bi people who I am now honored to call friends. I would not want someone to ban myself from being married, nor do I ever wish that upon someone else. I hope one day that the citizens of American and not just North Carolina will realize how ignorant and discriminatory these laws are and make a change. Everyone deserves the right to love and marriage.

Many people with a strong religious background may read this and think I have no justification for any of this. For that I give them this:

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."--Edmund Burke

"Equality, liberty and justice for all."

Just some food for thought. Stepping off of my soap box now. 

The Archaeology of Sheep

"Live as if you will die tomorrow. Learn as if you will live forever." --Mahatma Gandhi

For my Landscape Archaeology class we were assigned to carry out a survey of a site of our professors' choosing. We ended up driving to Cold Newton. It is suspected to be a Roman villa sitting inside a prehistoric enclosure. As we packed up the Land Rover it became apparent there weren't enough seats so one of us would have to sit in the back. The two professors got the front seats. Peter is about as tall as a tree so it was obvious he was not going to be squished. James is a pretty big guy and taller than me so he got the backseat and not the trunk area. Me being tiny... I like to call myself fun sized... got the small area behind the magnetometer, total station, rods, reels, ropes, tapes, resistivity stuff, everyone's bags and their shoes. Lucky me!

On the way to an archaeological site you generally learn that everyone has a blunt, crass and genuinely dirty side. We decided to tell awful pick up lines to pass the time. Here's a small sample:

"I hear you have some good earthworks. Can I survey your field?"

"I'm going to stick these probes all over that field."

"Those are some mighty fine probes you have there. Standard size?"

Yes I know we're gross, but it's entertaining and slightly awkward when it's around people who are going to be grading your papers.

We get there the first day and set up the baseline and start to survey the field and I was on resistivity duty with James, Peter and my professor Mark. We had to set up lines to walk evenly so the picture of what lies below is not distorted. One thing about that field is the poop... I have NEVER seen so much sheep poop in my life. If I was in a horror movie about poop this would be the mother of all site locations. Don't worry there isn't a picture for that. You're welcome.

Moving on... I have gotten stuck with a project that analyzes oysters from Dudley castle to determine change over time and where the oysters originated for various reasons. I have had to analyze over 6000 and have about 3 times more of that to do over the summer. This is how a casual conversation went during the dig.

Mark- (to no one in particular) "I wonder who that poor person is who got stuck analyzing those billions of oyster shells is."

Me- (shoulders slump, slow turn, desperately sad look on my face) .... it's me....

Mark- "wow you got screwed"

You know you have a crap task when a professor says that to you.

The next day was a torrential downpour like I had never seen before so we got the day off... but not before being forced to walk to campus and get the results of our previous surveys and then walk back.

We went out the day after once it had cleared up. Just picture a field of sheep quietly grazing in an English countryside. That's what it was like the first day. Not sure what triggered it, but the next day was the sheep version of Alfred Hitchcock's "Birds". EVERY sheep and there were probably 100 were running towards the flimsy gate baaaahing their heads off. A few of them even tried to ram their heads against the gate to try and open it. To an American this is alarming... especially one with a bad history with sheep. When I was younger I tried to pet a sheep and all it tried to do was eat my shorts I was wearing. I've never liked sheep since unless they are cooked and on a plate in front of me. I guess that's karma.

My reaction to this Hitchcock-esque sheep "attack" and the fact that I had to go into this field went something like this:

I remained unscathed and survived the sheeps' psychological warfare. Every now and again when I was standing by a hedge one would baaa at me in a strangely low tone out of nowhere. Not a reassuring occurrence. I think they knew I rather enjoy lamb.

As we surveyed the field we had to hold the cord that connected the machine to the probes in the ground. The other person not jamming the machine into the ground has to move the marker line another meter away to they can continuously survey. This being extremely boring decided to make it interesting. I would run along and move the lines which can only be described as doing what the ribbon twirlers in the olympics do then sprinted towards the other end of the field, did a limbo move under the other wire and people walking. I also performed zumba (I teach it) at random points of the day. Needless to say everyone was amused. Well minus my professor who I managed to entangle and trip... twice... good thing he has a sense of humor! Maybe there was a reason I ended up in the back of the land rover each time. Cool kid section? Yeah, I'll go with that. 

2 weeks later and I STILL can't get the poop off my boots. Stupid sheep.

We had one last day out in the field so I donned my stylish poop encrusted boots. I bet that's a pleasant mental image, but just imagine how I felt actually wearing them. We mapped out the entire field to get a topographical map. It went flawlessly with the sheep except for one encounter with a very determined lamb.  I had noticed a lamb had lost its mother and was running around the field making noise and exploring. I pointed it out to my friend Pete and at that very second it stopped, turned around from running in the opposite direction and looked at me dead in the eye. 

At this point it's about 50ft away from me so I'm thinking okay no big deal it's a lamb I've probably eaten ones bigger than this. I swear it thought I was it's mother. It ran at a full sprint right at me. At this point I am slightly uncomfortable on the inside, but trying to remain calm on the outside. This lamb aka undercover assassin stopped about 10ft from where I was and just stared at me and followed me around for 10 minutes. I'm convinced all it wanted to do was scare me. Mission: Complete. 

It's time for another one of my drawings.... Yes I know it looks like a fuzzy crocodile, but it was just as menacing. As a general warning to the public: Watch out for lambs. They have an evil side.

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read." --Mark Twain

Yorvik!

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

6am wake up calls should be banned. As should morning people. I found myself at 6am brutally awakened by my alarm that I still think sounds like a really bad 80s porno. Everyone has agreed with me and no I can't change it because believe it or not the other ringtones are worse... ANYWAYS, my Dad and I trekked to York to do some exploring. York Minster was the first thing I saw after getting off the train so i was excited to see that. However, we had to take a 45 minute detour to Dad's hotel where he checked his emails and took a painfully long time. Once we finally got outside it rained... BUT we got to see this:

My Dad has always wanted a stained glass copy of one of the wrens depicted on the stained glass windows in the private prayer room. My Dad being the rebel that he is defied the "rules" (they're more like suggestions anyways) and lucked out by having the room to himself with me as his lookout. He then took AGES taking picture of each bird there... There had to be over 40. Needless to say I was slightly bored, but amused at the same time. 

We then climbed all 257 steps to the top of the tower while squeezing through the winding staircase that was just big enough for me. Again I heard more grumbles about exercising. Once at the top there were great views, cold winds, and no rain! 

We met up for lunch with Jo and Phil, who are long time friends of the family. York was having its first ever chocolate festival. I tore through there like a tornado in a trailer park. Just picture a kid in a candy shop where all the chocolate is free and there's no parents to restrict how much you buy. That was me. 

I also saw Guy Fawkes's birthplace, a pastry called a fat rascal and the Merchant Adventurer's museum where my Dad showed an undying love for beams... it was practically heaven for him. It was a pretty interesting morning for me. The next thing we visited was the Jorvik Viking Museum. This is a very creative place where they recreated smells so you could experience how AWFUL York used to smell... thank goodness hygiene standards have been raised. The museum was creative and I was definitely impressed. They recreated the archaeological dig so when you first walked in you were walking on glass overlooking the "original" dig site. There was also a ride taking you through what it would have been like to live in the past. They ended it in a lovely way. There was a robotic man behind a stick fence having a poo. Classy, so of course I loved it and laughed obnoxiously to the disgust of the woman sitting in front of me trying to get her children to look in the opposite direction. To my dismay I learned there were 250,000 ... wait for it... cue the dramatic music... DUN DUN DUN... OYSTERS found at a part of the site. To my further dismay and slight depression I saw oysters and picked them up and was asked about them... I just can't escape.

Meanwhile at the Yorkshire museum I reverted back to the little kid in me. I discovered I weigh slightly more than a Hypsilophodon, but my Dad is almost as heavy as a velociraptor.  Proof: 

 I also had the pleasure of seeing a dodo bird skeleton, more viking helmets, and other dinosaurs. I had the pleasure of learning that bees have hairy eyeballs, rhinos poop their body weight every 48 hours (that's a lot of poop), and people used to eat lady bugs because they thought the poison would cure headaches.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." --Oscar Wilde

Ye Olde Trip to Lincoln

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."--Mark Twain

Ellie, Tam and I decided to take a spontaneous trip to Lincoln! It is a small town about an hour away that is famous for its cathedral and castle. What the don't tell the tourists about it the extremely steep hill they have to climb to get up to it. Me being the exercisaholic that I am thought the hike wasn't too bad. Meanwhile, Ellie is holding onto the railing for dear life and practically dragging herself up and all I hear are complaints about "this &*^%$#%$^& hill". I bet we were quite entertaining for the locals.

 We went to the castle first and walked along the outer wall. It showed the whole castle and a great view of the city. A lot of the castle was under reconstruction for tourist season so we went around saying "Ye olde tractor, ye olde scaffolding, ye olde electric lighting" etc. 

We then viewed parts of the Magna Carta. I had absolutely no idea that one of the most important documents in the world was in such a small, random, out of the way town. Kudos to Lincoln. We couldn't take pictures in the show room, but there was another piece of it in the cathedral. Don't worry I didn't use flash. 

Next we saw the cathedral. While I appreciate cathedrals and enjoyed how pretty it was, cathedrals are not my thing. I was more excited when I saw a mug in the gift shop that sported the phrase "Rather spiffing old chap". That is just more British in my opinion. If it hadn't been so expensive I would then post a picture of me in some ridiculously stereotypical attire drinking from that mug. Maybe one day I will get the mug of my dreams. Instead you get a picture of the cathedral.

Speaking of ridiculous attire... THIS is what we saw after leaving the cathedral: 

Keeping it classy...

On our way back to the train station I saw a picture of a dinosaur in a window of a small shop. Tam is as obsessed with dinosaurs as I am with sharks, so obviously we had to stop in. I immediately found a basket FULL of fossil sharks' teeth. I freaked out while Ellie and Tam explored the shop more. Each tooth was 3.50 pounds. The owner was shocked that I got that excited over the teeth that he let me dump the whole thing on his counter and go through them. I talked his head off about sharks and the teeth. I also noticed he had about 8 teeth max, but back to the shark teeth. I literally got so excited I teared up when the guy who owned the shop told me I could have 5 for 5 pounds.

My babies!

 I looked him dead in the eye and told that 8 toothed man I loved him. This led him to the glorious moment when he unlocked the cabinet in the other room that had perfectly preserved 7 inch long megalodon teeth... and he actually let me alone with them. My day was made :)

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." --Dr. Seuss

Time For A Change

I've been blonde for the past 2 decades of my life. 2 years ago I decided to go even blonder. My hair was down to my mid-back. Here's a picture for those of you who don't know me.

I'm the one on the far left. Now I desperately needed a haircut because my hair was just plain fried. I decided it was time for a HUGE change. Ladies and gentlemen I went all out. HERE is what I look like now :)

I adore it and am going to rock this new look like there's no tomorrow. As my friend said "Emma you are a stone cold fox with red hair." Thanks Sydney. I hope everyone likes it as much as I do!

From Heaven on Earth to Hell... I mean Leeds.

"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." --Jacques Cousteau

The next day Lindsey and I ventured out to Howth. The first thing I saw as I walked towards Howth off of the train station was a giant shark. I took this as an indicator that the day was going to be pretty awesome.

As you can see I was pretty excited.

After I had my moment with the shark, Lindsey showed me the local seals. I was expecting something slightly smaller, but what I saw were seals of gigantic proportions.

Howth is really a fishing town that has a surprising amount of tourists. There are abbey ruins, a castle that we could not find to save our lives, and a really cool hiking mountain with a great view. We ventured up a very steep hill to see the abbey and I decided to Indiana Jones it and climb all over it. Sacrilege? Maybe, but it was still fun and the building is still standing... well let's just say I didn't cause it any harm. 

After we were done exploring there we decided to start the hike up the mountain. Halfway up I saw a rickety staircase leading down to a beach with mini caves, so of course we had to get down there and crawl in them.

Here I am getting attacked my spider webs.

And I survived without any mortal wounds to jump around in a different cave with Lindsey.

Back to the mountain we went! The weather held out on us long enough for us to get to the top and back and to get hopelessly lost on the way back down. How I can get lost when there was only one path to follow I will never know. The good things is we made it back in one piece!

After Howth we journeyed back to Skerries and I packed for my flight the next night. I arrived at the airport around 7pm for my flight. It was delayed by 30 min. This kick-started my lovely and adventurous night back to Leicester. I arrived in Leeds at 1130 thinking I was going to be picked up by the friend of a friend we had stayed with before departing to Dublin. After not returning my 5 calls, 2 voicemails, and 3 texts I figured that was a lost cause. When hearing from him an hour later and after yelling at him profusely I was on my own at the airport and in need of a hotel... I got the bus into town and arrived there at about 1230am. I followed the bus driver's instructions and walked 30 minutes to stay in the world's sketchiest hotel of all time for 4 hours to catch my 630am bus to Leicester. Needless to say I was not happy at all. 

To leave this post on a happy note below is a sign I saw in Howth...

 I swim... YIKES

"At the beach life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour, but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun."--Unknown