Alaska Part 1--Snowmobiling Tour!

"One way to get the most out of life is to view it as an adventure."--William Feather

One of the first things I booked for my trip to Alaska was a snowmobiling tour. I wanted to knock that off of my list and the Glacier City Snow Mobile Tours out of the shop Great Alaskan Tourist Trap had fantastic reviews and pictures on their website. I gave them a call a few days before my trip and booked 2 spots for my first full day in Alaska.




I originally asked specifically for the Glacier Tour, which they said depended on the weather, but we would see when I got there. They had a Gold Mine Tour as an alternative. However, when we walked into the store to check in we were told they hadn't had the Glacier Tour the whole season because there wasn't enough snow. That would have been fantastic to know ahead of time just in case we wanted to make other arrangements. 



Before you think I'm just spoiled let me explain myself. I am 100% down for adventures no matter what. On their website the glacier pictures were nothing short of phenomenal. They had me chomping at the bit to go to Alaska and I knew I had to do that tour. The gold mine pictures in comparison were mediocre. It wasn't unique. Both my friend and I had been led to believe we could possibly go on the glacier tour so we got our hopes up, unfortunately.
That being said, we did have a fantastic time. 

Snow mobiling is an interesting sensation. It operates like an ATV, but tends to jerk around more. Unless you stay in the path of the person in front of you then it is difficult to maintain the desired direction. There's not really a finesse to it; it's more like you ran out of steering fluid and need to convince it that it should go where you want. That was part of the adventure and I fully embraced it. I was a little nervous and therefore slow at certain points, but we had a fantastic time.

We did runs of around 4 or 5 paths before heading to the top of the trail to take pictures and take in the scenes. The view from the top was breath taking and COLD. We started the tour when it was around -10 degrees F outside and with the wind chill at the top...let's just say that all of us were happy the snowmobiles had hand warmers on the handlebars!

Then we were off on quite a few more trails until we reached the bottom again. We were provided a delicious lunch of reindeer hot dogs and their own specially crafted cider. The food was scrumptious! It was definitely a highlight of the trip. Then we were off again on more and more trails!

After 4 hours of riding with a brief rest with food it was time to make our way back to the shop where we donned our gear. All in all it was a really fun trip and I do recommend snowmobiling in Alaska if you get the chance. There wasn't much time for pictures while you were on the mountain. You were only given the chance to take pictures at the top and during lunch, however some of the best shots came about when we were riding up or down the mountain. I fell behind several times because I stopped for literally 5 seconds to hastily line up a shot, which was slightly frustrating.

On the upside, their guides were very knowledgeable and made sure everyone was listening to the safety briefing and helped anyone who needed it along the way. The company has many great aspects, but there are several things I think they could improve upon for a truly stellar experience.

"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm, and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open."--Jawaharlal Nehru

Doggie Day Trip to DC

"If your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either."--Unknown

My boyfriend, Will, and I LOVE our puppy, Atlas. He is a border collie mix we rescued from the shelter and fell in love with at first sight. We try to take him everywhere we can since he loves being with us at all times, loves exploring new places and meeting new people and fellow fluffballs.

The perfect opportunity arose when we were asked to house sit for my friend who lives in DC. Will and I decided to have as dog friendly a weekend as we could possibly have. Our first stop was the National Mall. We walked about 4 miles starting at the Smithsonian Castle. Atlas got his first taste of DC when we stopped there to fill up water bottles. A field trip was in full swing and of course everyone HAD to stop and give Atlas some much appreciated pets. We were off to a great start to our morning.

As we made our way past the Washington monument we made sure to take lots of pictures of Atlas having a complete blast. He got to meet several dogs of all sizes and species who were enjoying a day out on the town themselves. We then stopped for a quick lunch of sandwiches and may or may not have shared some with Atlas too. :-)

After a brief rest we were off again! Atlas was born for walkies so we didn't get to have much rest before he decided it was time to go exploring again. We were lucky enough to walk through the WWII memorial while several veterans were being honored. Will had just gotten out of the Navy so it was really neat for us to see this happen while we were standing there enjoying the beautiful memorial.The Vietnam memorial was extremely crowded and we didn't want Atlas to get overwhelmed or jump on anyone (he's still very much a puppy) so we decided to take the path less travelled through some trees and enjoy the shade.

Our last stop, and our favorite was the Lincoln Memorial.For some strange reason, Atlas HATES baths with a fiery passion and also doesn't particularly enjoy pools. BUT he will jump right in dirty rivers and the ocean. He hates crystal clear, clean water, but will swim until we have to drag him from the water when it's dirty and he can't see through it. He's weird.

That being said, Atlas REALLY wanted to chase the ducks floating in the reflecting pool, which of course was filthy...thankfully we were paying attention and he didn't manage to get anywhere near it.By far our favorite event of that weekend included the Lincoln Memorial. I'm guessing very few dogs have ever actually made it up all of those steps and into the actual memorial itself. Atlas is one of those few dogs who can proudly say he's met Abraham Lincoln. Will and I really wanted to get a picture of Atlas with the statue of Abraham Lincoln, but we doubted he would be allowed to walk around in there even on a leash. Did that deter us? Not one bit. America was built upon rebellion, why not us?Our solution was to carry our then 45b puppy up over 50 steps and to hold him in front of the memorial so we could say we'd done it. Take a took at the pictures. They are pretty priceless and well worth the effort.

After our small adventure we walked back along the mall and just enjoyed ourselves and the warm weather. DC has so many dog friendly areas and hiking trails most people have never even heard of. Most people only think of the city itself, which doesn't scream "bring your dogs!" If you ever get a chance to visit and you have dogs make sure to bring them! The National Mall has plenty of outdoor sites to see that you can easily spend a day doing. Many restaurants in the area have outdoor seating that allow dogs. The trails running all over DC have beautiful trails boasting waterfalls, small rapids, and just plain beautiful scenery that will make you forget you're in a massive city. The best part? You can bring your best doggie friend.Now on to planning our next dog friendly adventure!

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace. "--Milan Kundera

Tour of Richmond: A Sequel!

RIchmond's Gran Fondo aka Tour of Richmond has been going on for quite a few years. It is a cycle race that occurs annually and has several different options depending on experience level. You can do a 29, 59, 79, or 101 mile race!

This year we were set to start and finish our race at the Raceway Complex where several Nascar races occur. My boyfriend, Will, and I decided to enter into the 59 mile race. The previous year I made the mistake of doing the entire race on a mountain bike. Due to the tires gripping the road more my legs felt like they were falling off halfway through the race and by the end of it I wasn't sure I still had legs at all, but I had an absolute blast.

That's exactly why I wanted to do it again and even convinced my boyfriend to do it with me. This year we were smart and bought road bikes, which was a fantastic decision that my legs greatly appreciated. Here's a breakdown of how the race went for both of us.

Mile 1: Holy crap I'm excited! Are you excited babe? Yeah? Sweet I'm already passing people.

Mile 3: Is that a UNICYCLE? That person has balls of steel. Those hills are massive...I hope they don't die.

Mile 5: Feeling pretty great. Hey everyone! Looking good! We've got this!

Mile 10: I feel pretty good. Yes! A pit stop. Time to fuel up.

Mile 15: Still feeling good. Just humming along and enjoying the scenery

Mile 20: Phew these hills just keep on coming don't they? I'm glad they had a lot of food at this rest stop. Hey babe, let's sit here a few minutes.

Mile 25: HOLY CRAP I HATE YOU WIND. Why is the wind coming straight at us at 25mph? Yes I looked up the wind gust rate. I feel like my legs are made of jello and the wind is my worst enemy.

Mile 30: If I could murder wind I would go postal right now. Legs? What legs? This added resistance is insane. WHY is there a huge hill right here? Isn't the wind enough?

Mile 31: Remember, I wanted to do this. I wanted to do this. This is fun. This is fun. This is ...

Mile 35: Dear lord where is the REST STOP. Babe did we somehow pass it? Is this a cruel joke? Have my legs fallen off? Why didn't we pack snacks? Maybe the stop is around this corner?

Mile 36: Maybe the rest area is just up this hill?

Mile 37: Whoever designed this course is evil.

Mile 38: I love biking. I love biking. This is fun. (Said through gritted teeth)

Mile 39: I can do this. I can do this. Hey fellow biker and fellow comrade in fitness and leg numbness. WE CAN DO THIS. Any idea where the rest area is?

Mile 40: HALLELUJAH! Rest area. La la la la di dah rest area. Let's eat. And sit. Sitting it great. Ow my butt is sore. Oh well I asked for it. Maybe we should ride standing up? No my legs wouldn't like that either. YUM sustenance! Man I feel much better. We are so close! Let's pack snacks because....let's not forget what happened last time.

Mile 45: Cruising along, enjoying the adventure and scenery.

Mile 46: Did a 70 year old man just pass me like I was standing still? Yep. Maybe I should kick it up a notch.

Mile 50: ALMOST THERE. I can feel it in my bones!...minus the ones in my legs.

Mile 52: Any minute now.

Mile 54: Everyone let's get excited! We have come so far!

Mile 57: WOW they really had to put the biggest hill of all right at the very end at the entrance to the finisher's lap. Jerks.

Mile 57.5: That wasn't as bad as I thought. Okay I can see the raceway complex! Getting PUMPED

Finisher's lap: HECK YES WE DID IT! Oh hey smile for the camera! We did it! We did it!


In a nutshell, the race is physically and mentally challenging no matter which stage you do. Always, always, always prepare for all aspects and bring lots of water and snacks. This is such a well-planned event and I've never had anything, but great things to say about it. I can't wait to do it next year!

As a side note they have road support, medics on standby, DELICIOUS meals for everyone at the end (for free), quality medals, fun t-shirts that you will actually want to wear, maintenance crews for your bikes at the beginning and end, and booths that sell fun race items. There was even a band at the end! I highly, HIGHLY recommend this race.

A Journey To The Desert!

 “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” –Clifton Fadiman

Will is from the beautiful desert/mountainous city of Albuquerque, New Mexico. He lived there for several years before his family relocated to Virginia Beach. His grandparents still live there and we had planned a trip to visit them over Christmas this year. Our flights were booked, Atlas had a sleepover planned at Will's mom's house so he could play with the pit bulls, and we had everything planned that we wanted to see!

Now we had to wait a month for our flights. Luckily time flew by. Next thing we know it's already Christmas Eve! We dropped our fluffy child/dog at Will's Mom's house so he could have a weekend of play time with the pit bulls, small children, and get some snuggle time in. We made it to the airport nice and early because we thought we would have to battle the masses of people flying out on Christmas Eve. However, we were pleasantly surprised that the airport was near empty! We breezed through security in under 5 minutes, which I'm sure most of you are jealous of that time.

Now we had to figure out how to kill a little under 2 hours in the airport. We ended up sitting at the bar having a refreshing drink and delicious dinner! By the time we finished eating we were pleasantly full and went to our gate to relax, read, and people watch.

Our flights were pretty uneventful and by that I mean we both passed out and I actually had a pillow aka Will's shoulder. We arrived in Albuqerque at 1130 after both of our flights were delayed, but it wasn't a big deal.

Before we left, everyone, and I mean everyone, in Will's family warned me that I was going to be EXTREMELY well fed while I was there and that his grandparents would try to feed me at every chance they got. They weren't kidding. Almost every decorative bowl in the house was filled with candies, chocolates, and other goodies. Every drawer either held cooking utensils or more food. Their pantry looked something like a bomb shelter supply that could last 50 people several years.

When we arrived at their house both adorable grandparents greeted us and of course offered us food. We politely declined and went to sleep almost immediately. In the morning, breakfast was promptly served and this the feasting began! Christmas day was off to a delicious start! Since we had just gotten there and Will hadn't seen his grandparents in a few years we decided to have a lazy day and just spend it with his family opening presents, talking, and watching movies. And of course, we had a FEAST that night!

The second full day consisted of driving around town, seeing where Will used to live, taking in the sights of the desert, and going to Old Town Albuquerque, which had lots and lots of stores that boasted handmade items, Native American pottery and other makes. It was really neat to explore all of the stores with nothing but handmade Native American crafts. As an anthropologist I loved seeing the drastic and sometimes subtle differences between the pottery and jewelry of different tribes.

One thing that I really loved about Albuquerque was the openness of the terrain. There were tons of mountains that you could always see in the distance, but there was also very flat desert all around you as well. It was completely different, as you'd expect, from the East Coast and I really enjoyed it. It was a very refreshing feeling.

The next day we were supposed to go skiing in Santa Fe. I was beyond excited because I had never been skiing before and the mountains were phenomenal looking. Plus I wanted to get some really neat action pictures for my portfolio. However, life had a different plan for my Christmas vacation...

First of all, I get sick about once every 2 years. Nothing in between, but maybe a small cold. I guess my 2 year sickness interval was up and of course it had to come while I was on vacation the NIGHT BEFORE the day trip I was looking forward to most. I was lucky enough to somehow get norovirus...I got it once before on a cruise and let me tell you it is no picnic. I don't want to get too graphic, but it is essentially like throwing up out of both ends, continuously for 8 hours straight...

My wonderful boyfriend should get an award for picking me up off the bathroom floor and carrying me to bed every few hours. I felt a little better by the morning, and by that I mean I could drink water and keep it down. I decided that I would come with the guys (Will and his brother, Nick) to the ski lodge and just rest there in hopes that I would be able to ski later. In reality, I just slept all day on a table and some chairs in a corner. It was a huge disappointment that I couldn't ski there, but I'm glad I got to see the mountains and that Will had fun day of skiing. The only upside to this part of the story was that I lost all the weight I had gained by eating until I couldn't move for a few days straight. Not that I would ever condone losing weight this way..ever. I'm just looking on the bright side.

We spent our last night there enjoying spending time with his family, playing scrabble, relaxing, and of course eating. We had a very nice trip minus the illness setback. We decided we will have to go back soon so we can add more adventure to our New Mexican repertoire!   I did get to see tumbleweeds and a road runner so I can call it a success ;-)    I've always wanted to see both of those and I finally got to! (Nick and Will did a bunch of eye rolling when I got so excited over them)

All in all, New Mexico was a great success and I finally got to meet that side of Will's family. It was also my first time to the West coast and I absolutely enjoyed myself. If you ever get the chance to go I would definitely recommend it. It was very picturesque and had a homey feel to it even though it was such a big city.

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” – Mark Jenkins

Sleeping Under The Whale

"A museum is a place where one should lose one's head." --Renzo Piano


Several weeks ago my boyfriend's, Will, mom (Bridget)  surprised us with overnight tickets to none other than the Night At The Museum! Yes, the first thing that popped into my head was the movie and visions of myself running amok with a t-rex and an Easter Island head while saving the world in one night. While my night was fantastic and full of wonder, it wasn't quite that epic. She had snagged tickets to the night at the museum event for kids and adults on Halloween of all nights!

I'm getting ahead of myself. We live in Virginia Beach. New York City's American Museum of Natural History is a 7 hour drive. Yes. We drove a total of 14 hours in 2 days. Yes, it was worth it. Will and I hopped into the car armed with music, games, and excitement! After being in the car for 2 hours we were already ready to get out of the car. Luckily at hour 4 we stopped for lunch at a cute diner and were able to ease the sense of cabin fever. Both Will and I are very active people so being stuck in a car together just builds up dormant energy waiting to be released in a nuclear type of way. Needless to say by the time we reached the city we were ready to get out of the car.

Life had a different idea for us. Our gps maps app on our phones took us to the heart of Brooklyn instead of NYC. We had a fantastic car tour of Brooklyn where we realized that it has a population consisting of 99.9% Jewish community. It was odd to look around and expect to find typical New Yorkers and find adults and children alike in suits, ties, dresses, and yamakas. While it is typical to accidentally end up in China town or Little Italy while in New York, ending up in Little Israel while unexpected, but quite delightful! It was by far the cleanest part of NY we had ever seen as well as a very unstressful drive.

We finally found the museum and descended to the depths of the parking garage that lies beneath the museum. After being ushered into the building sleeping bags in hand we were assigned our cots. WE WERE SLEEPING IN THE OCEAN LIFE HALL. UNDER THE WHALE.  Now I'm a scuba diver and have always loved the water. Not to mention the fact that I get giddy when talking about sharks, so you can imagine how happy I was to be sleeping in an aquarium of sorts.

Lots and lots of events were planned although many were geared more towards the kids. All of us, Will, Bridget and I, set off to explore! First stop was the insect hall! We got to see, but unfortunately not touch lots of creepy crawlies like tarantulas. They had some pretty neat replicas of ancient mosquitos and other giant insects from the past.

My favorite part of exploring was the Halloween themed trek through the dinosaur hall. The lights were deliberately turned off and the fossils were lit up by multi colored lights to give an eerie glow to the dinosaurs. The dinosaur halls have always been my favorite part of any museum, so to explore one in a new way was quite the adventure for me!

After visiting the dinosaur hall we headed to the featured Pterosaur exhibit. A pterosaur is a dinosaur of flight of varying sizes. They had tons of super detailed fossils, which were really neat to look at. My favorite part was by far the interactive zone. You got to stand on a simulator and act like you were flying and your movements were projected on to a screen as a pterosaur hunting for fish. I was AWFUL at it, but I eventually caught a fish! I would have no doubt been Darwined out way back when and died of starvation, but luckily I'm a Homo sapien. Moving on.

At this point we realized we were way older than we thought because we were 100% exhausted and it was only 10pm. We tried to sit through Hotel Transylvania playing in the Imax theater, but started to drift off before the movie even started. On our walk back to our cots we realized that we weren't quite as ancient as the parents there. You could tell who had more kids by the level of defeated looks and hopeless looks in their eyes as you could tell all they wanted to do was convince their kids it would be fun to take a nap, but they knew that was about as fruitless as training a fish to climb a tree.

We made a sort of sport watching the Dads try to herd their kids to bed around 1130 while we were laying in bed nice and cozy and warm without screaming kids to bother us! Notice I said Dads. You know all of the wives suckered their husbands into a night at the museum convincing them it would be easy while they had a night off and drank wine and laughed with their friends at what they thought their husbands were going through.

Our only regret was that we could not find the King Tut exhibit. Our theory is that it was on tour when we were there. Obviously this means we have to go back and see it! One thing I almost forgot. There were over 400 people in the museum that night, but we never felt crowded. More often than not we found ourselves the only people in several of the halls. With free reign of the entire museum we expected to be jostled around like during the day. We were pleasantly surprised to find that we could casually explore and stop at our leisure without feeling like we were being pressured to move. That was one of our favorite parts of the entire visit. A thing such as that is rare in today's world.

Although our time in NYC was very short and jam packed with non-stop action and exploring we were ready to go home. Sayonara NYC! Hopefully we will see you again soon for a more relaxing, but adventurous vacation!

"A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world." --Edmond de Goncourt

Batten Down The Hatches

"Maybe your weird is my normal? Who's to say?"-Nicki Minaj

As many of my followers know, I have had my fair share of poop stories. Until last Wednesday, these were strictly animal stories. I will now share my first (and hopefully last) human poop horror/humor story.

One of my day jobs I currently have involves teaching Zumba at several gyms. My all time favorite class to teach is my Wednesday night class at a gym that will remain nameless. The members are rambunctious, hilarious, and ready to WORK. I've been told my classes are the hardest/best workout money can buy and I really pride myself in that. I always make sure to have low and high impact options so anyone from 8 years old to 80 years old can come away and feel like they really exercised, challenged themselves, but were safe in the way they went about it. Zumba is so great because it really feels like you are having a little party, acting like a fool, and best of all it doesn't feel like a workout that you have to convince yourself you can finish and hope you don't pass out.

Yes my classes are hard, but that's why we're at the gym. To make changes and get in shape! I had a special "Kick Butt Thanksgiving Zumba Extravaganza" complete with new songs, lots and lots of sweating in preparation for the 800 cookies, pies, turkeys, potatoes, etc that we would eat the next day. I even had handmade door prizes that I had crafted myself. You can check them out here if you want: www.etsy.com/shop.eclecticgreetings

Little did I know it would go horribly wrong and I wouldn't even know that it made a turn for the worst until Thanksgiving itself.

Thanksgiving morning went really well. My boyfriend, Will and I ran a 10k and finished in a little over an hour. There was a light drizzle, but it felt AMAZING since we were ridiculously warm from not running that far in a long time. We then went home and cooked cream cheese and bacon stuffed poblano peppers and a green bean casserole. Then we made the trek, with our pup Atlas of course, to NC where Will's mom lives to eat all of the delicious food she had made. We were beyond stuffed by the time we made it home. Everyone in the house: cats, dog, and boyfriend were asleep within minutes of sitting down. I curled up with the 5th Game of Thrones book and just relaxed.

We decided to go to Target around 9 so we would miss the massive crowds and still get to shop around for some great deals. Little did I know my entire day would be changed as I walked out of the game section towards the pet section.

I ran into Chris who takes my Wednesday night class and he is super energetic with a fun personality. He is the one who informed me about the "incident". After saying hi and making small talk he leans in and in a hushed voice asks me "Do you know that someone pooped in your Zumba class yesterday?"

First of all, this is not the normal conversation topic I was expecting. Secondly, my brain had trouble processing that information. Thirdly, WHAT THE F@$&?????  I was disgusted, confused, slightly amused, intrigued, disgusted again, horrified, and most of all the feeling of "no...that couldn't have happened."

But happen it did. I was 100% oblivious...not that I would have known what in the world to do if I happened to see someone poo on the floor accidentally. Let's give you some more detail. No not about the poo you weirdo, about the situation.

I had 20 people in class that night and the "perpetrator" was in the back of the class according to witnesses and hear sayers. I always teach at the front and am looking around the room constantly to check form. It never occurred to me to check the floor for rogue bowel movements. A mother and daughter duo are usually at the back almost every class and they had apparently witnessed it happen, but were too confused or horrified to do something about it, which is very reasonable. Many in the class wrote it off as "oh, there's dirt right there".

What horrifies and confuses me the most is the next few facts. 1. She pooped in the middle of a crowded room and knew it happened. 2. She didn't casually excuse herself to clean up the mess on the floor and undoubtedly elsewhere on her person. 3. A WHOLE OTHER CLASS happened in that same room right after and everyone thought it was dirt. 4. She never CLEANED IT UP.    I can forgive someone for pooping on the floor if they have bowel issues. That can't be helped, but preventative measures should be taken like an adult diaper, etc. Not to clean is up is rude, unsanitary, and a slipping hazard to name barely a few of the risks without mentioning how gross the whole situation is.

I'm not the sort of person who focuses on the negative, but I had no previous socially acceptable reaction in my arsenal in which to pull from to figure out how in the heck you respond to something like that.

In short, if you have to poop, go to the bathroom immediately. Poop waits for no mortal being and it means smelly business. If you do poop accidentally, nonchalantly play it off as it being dirt on the floor and blame it on a muddy dog you may or may not have and excuse yourself and get the proper cleaning tools. That's humiliation free and won't wound any pride, plus it prevents blog posts such as these from unsuspecting Zumba instructors who never see that situation coming.

All in all, I exercised the shit out of someone. Literally. I still have no idea how to feel about that. Holy crap. Pun intended.

"The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car, is having to poop right after you get out of the shower."--Unknown

I Am the Goat Whisperer

"Between two evils I always pick the one I never tried before"--Mae West

If you have read my previous posts about sheep, cows, monkeys, elephants, etc you will undoubtedly know that I have extremely odd experiences with animals. Most of the time I'm getting punched, spit on, bitten, chased, and much much more. Sheep and cows have all gotten together and made a pact to convince me they are out to get me. It's working. Read my previous posts to see why. You'll understand I promise. 

This time mother nature decided to throw me a curve ball. I live in Virginia Beach. Now most of you will have just pictured sandy beaches, rolling waves, a nice cold drink in your hand and a good book. That's oceanfront. That's not where I live. I live in a house that sits on 2 acres of land in pretty much the middle of nowhere. If it rains my yard turns into a giant swamp. I wish I was joking. We had light rain for about an hour and most of my yard had ankle deep standing water. Ohhhh the perks of living where the water table is at ground level. Moving on. There are several people who own horses, llamas, goats, and pigs. Some are even for sale. 

My boyfriend and I were driving home and drove past a home that happened to sell goats and pigs. These goats are not just your average goats. They are escape artists and dare devils. If you're looking to rob a bank and not get caught then these are the goats for you. The house sits on a semi busy road. On the other side of the road, across from the house, are woods and a huge ditch. For the past few weeks there has been a plastic bag that has gotten itself stuck on a branch and wafts in the wind.   My guess is that these escape artist goats saw that bag waving itself around invitingly and decided to break out of their pen and go get a late night snack. 

This is the only picture of a goat I have. He's even trying to escape so it's pretty perfect. 

The herd of 5 goats ranging in size from behemoth to aww is that a dog? Oh wow no that's a weird looking goat, made it across the street and were happily chewing away at the bag. Will and I came around the corner and being me I yelled HOLY CRAP GOATS! We pulled into the driveway and I was awkwardly excited. For some weird reason I felt that this was going to be awesome. I sent Will to ring the doorbell and tell the owners that their goats had gone on a food raid and were running amuck. 

What did I do? I ran to the end of the driveway and my brain said "herd them Emma. How could this possibly go wrong?"  All I could think about was getting chased like the sheep, but I still can't explain why I was so dang happy about getting to herd some goats. Maybe I was a nomad in my past life who rescued goats from warring tribes. I doubt that has ever happened in life, but that's where my brain just went so let's just go along with it for the sake of the story. I was at the end of the driveway and the thought suddenly struck me. "How in the HECK do you get goats to turn away from a delicious plastic bag, follow you across the street while not getting hit by cars?"

My answer? "1. I'm super happy there is no traffic right now. 2. Heeeeere goat goat goat. Come here goat goat goat. Oh hey you pretty goat. Come here!"    Will was standing by the owners' door just looking at me like I was insane. Meanwhile I was grinning like an idiot because the goats had decided to follow me. I yelled things to Will like " Baaabe I'm a goat whisperer. They love me! Master goat herder over here. Babe tell world you're dating a goat herding extraordinaire."  He wasn't as amused as I was.

In the end I coaxed the goats back to their pen, which may I add was a good 300 feet away. I was concerned at one point that they were going to try to nibble me, but my goat whispering aura must have deterred that. Every time we pass that house I yell goat goat goat! The first few times it made Will slam on the brakes and get angry at me because he thought I saw another goat in the road. It's times like these that make me love my crazy life. You just can't make this stuff up!

"I always wanted to be somebody, but not I realize I should have been more specific"--Lily Tomlin